Combined scores of 90–100:
No fair, you already own a tandem. But isn’t it nice to know you made a great choice?
Combined scores of 70–89:
Congratulations. You already found the right person and life is undoubtedly on the upswing. Proceed directly to a Santana dealer. After all, you only live once.
Combined scores of 50–69:
Hmm…you probably need more info. Here are three suggestions:
1. Make sure you re-read pages 4–6.
2. Hit up one of our Test Ride Centers for an extended test ride—it’s free.
3. Sign up for one of our tandem rallies listed in the back of this catalog and rent a good tandem (with the option to own).
Combined scores of 30–49:
Don’t despair, there are still a few rays of hope. You may not be ready to buy a tandem, but you definitely need one. If you want to raise your score, try one of the options listed above.
Combined scores of 29 or below:
Forget it. Buy a bigger couch and build another ship in a bottle. Don’t buy a tandem—instead, sell your mirrors. To improve your relationship call the Psychic Hotline. Corn dog anyone?